Tamara Jean Daugherty, 52, of Indianapolis, passed away Tuesday, December 18, 2018. She is survived by her two sons Joshua (Chasiti) Dusang and Zachary Dusang, two stepdaughters, Brittany (Scott) Huntley and Taylor Speer, two granddaughters Adissyn Rose and Kynleigh Rae Dusang, her fiancé Thomas Speer Jr, her mother, Linda Daugherty, sisters and brother Susie, Kim, Harvey Jr. and Misty McGuire. Also, many aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins.
Tamara lived many years with a lung disease called Alpha 1 Antitrypsin Deficiency Syndrome, a disease that only a few are aware of. She sought help and support from her Alpha Sisters and Alpha Genies. They are a wonderful group of individuals that are too many to list.
Special Thanks to her doctors and home nurse – Jennifer Utterback, for all of their work to try to lengthen her life and keep her with us.
A memorial service will be held at New Life Christian Fellowship in Fortville, Indiana, on Saturday, December 22, 2018, from 2pm-4pm for friends and family to visit. 1574 IN-234, Fortville, IN 46040
Brittany says
My sympathies to the Daugherty family. I’m so sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in knowing that one day soon “death will be no more.” (Revelation 21:4) Not only will we not experience death, but we have the hope of being reunited with our loved ones we have lost to death. This will take place by means of the resurrection hope, mentioned in the Bible at John 5:28,29. Imagine how you’ll feel when your dear loved one, Tamara, is brought back to life, in a beautiful new paradise on earth! It’s not a mere dream, but a future that will soon be realized. (Revelation 21:5)
Pearl Gregory says
Please accept my deepest symphony for the loss of Tammy.
GOD rest her soul
Brenda says
I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Janelle Watson says
Fly with Angels Alpha sister💜
Kathy says
My sincere and heartfelt condolences to Tammy’s family and friends .
May she Rest In Peace and breath easy. Memory eternal
much love from an Alpha1 sister warrior. Kathy
Staci fulmer says
So sorry for your loss, she was an amazing women.
All of us alphas will miss her dearly.
Debbie Bookout says
I would love to donate to the Alpha-1 Foundation in Tammy’s name. Please send me an address so someone can be can be notified. I am one of the support group leaders for Hoosier Alphas and I met Tammy at my first meeting in 2012. I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers for her family.
Joyce Finch says
I am so sorry for your loss. My thought and prayers are with you. May she rest in peace and breathe easy!
Sue Simenc says
May your happy memories sustain you through this difficult time. I will miss my Alpha sister. 💜💜💜
Luan says
Prayers and heartfelt sympathy to all of Tammys family….❤
I am an Alpha sister, and care deeply with your loss….even though I never met Tammy, I undetstand her struggle.😐
My brother lost his battle with Alpha-1 at age 44….
Rosanne Reed says
May care and love of those around you provide comfort and peace to get you through the days ahead. My most sincere condolences. Tammy was a very special friend to so many of us. The Alpha-1 community will miss the love and support she provided. Although she was struggling with her own health, she was there with a positive message to anyone that needed it. Everyone that knew Tammy in person or in one of our FB groups would tell you there was no love greater than what she had for her family. She will be missed. xoxo
Jackie English says
Love, hugs and prayers to you all. We wlll miss our Alpha Sister! 💜🙏😘 Breathe Easy my friend!
Deb says
Prayers for Tammy’s family to find peace through this difficult time. Breath easy my Alpha Sister, I will miss you! 🙏🏻💜
Stephanie Amoura says
Love and strength to you all, breath easy my Angel, you ll be trully missed..
Carol Kominek says
My sincere condolences on the loss of our dear Tammy. She was loved by all of us that had the opportunity to know her. I hated the disease but grateful to have met Tammy. Rest now Sister. We love you and will miss you terribly.
Jenni Nankervis says
Thinking of Tamara’s family and of all who knew her, may you all find comfort in your memories of her.
Breathe easily Tamara.
Patricia says
Wow…so young. You may not see her but she is close❤️❤️❤️❤️
Margaret Millar says
Always smittened by Tamara smiles on every single picture. I was looking forward to seeing her birthday pictures with her loved ones, was never to be. Sincere condolences from me and I’m sure her greater Alpha 1 family from around the world. Rest is peace and tranquillity forever now Alpha Tamara.
Alecia Sharp says
So sorry for the loss of this sweet Alpha sister. She and I spoke often but never met. She will be missed by many. God Bless and be with her family and friends.
Venus Jean Coppernoll says
12-22-2018: I got up this morning expecting to deliver a eulogy for my dearest cousin, Tamara Daugherty, but God had other plans. Although I didn’t deliver this eulogy at her memorial service today, I do feel that God had me write it for a reason. I don’t know that reason, but in posting this here, my hope is that it might bless someone or bring comfort to someone who is in need of it.
Each year to come, December 18th will still be the day that marks a week until Christmas…a day to recheck the menu…wrap the final gifts…buy the stocking stuffers…make sure we have Wick’s Sugar Cream pies before they’re all sold out.
Yes, it will surely still be all those things, and now it will be so much more…
It will be the day that I prepared to fulfill Tammy’s wish that I speak with you today on her behalf.
I’m 61 years old, and in that time of life when funerals for those we love come more often than weddings.
I hate that I’m here today; because I never wanted this day…this moment…this heartache to ever come.
I love that I’m here today; because I have the honor, the blessing, to celebrate her arrival in Heaven.
Several years ago, Tammy told me that she wanted me to give her eulogy. She didn’t ask me. She told me. That still makes me smile.
I smile because she knew that I would do this exactly as she wanted me to. So, I’ll give you fair warning. If the words spoken here make you uncomfortable, if they make you angry, if they make you sad, if they cause regret for things no longer changeable or for things we wish we had said or done but no longer have the opportunity, I will not apologize…because today is about what Tammy wanted, not what I want, not what anyone else wants.
And so I start with this, the thing she said she wanted me to say first…
We, she and I, are not Phippses, and we are not Gaithers. We are Tammy Jean and Venus Jean, and we got to choose what that means.
We were both named after my mother, Thelma Jean McGuire, and as we watched her heart become cold and hard, and we experienced her cruelty, neither of us wanted to be like her in any way. It has been quite a struggle at times to accomplish that. And, I confess…Tammy did a much better job at that than did I. And in the end, we made peace with those names.
OK, so…I am an emotional eater. And I have a daughter who loves peanut blossoms…you know those peanut butter cookies with a Hershey kiss on top. And when the news came on Tuesday, I had already made up the dough and had the kisses unwrapped in a baggie…ready to take to take to my daughter’s house and bake them for Christmas…WELL, things didn’t quite work out that way. First, I started eating raw dough…yes, yummy! And then I started baking cookies. I ate 19 cookies on Tuesday. I ate 24 cookies on Wednesday. When Thursday came, I baked 27 more cookies and ran out of dough. And I swear I heard Tammy say, “Get a grip, Venus Jean!” And right then, I figured out a way that I could eat those 27 cookies guilt-free.
Every time I ate a cookie, I would write down a word that described Tammy and note why it fit her.
Gracious – Tammy knew that when you blame others for the circumstances in your life, you become a victim, and that means you give your power to them. Tammy was not a victim of Alpha-1. She was not a victim of the genes passed to her by her parents. She was not a victim of those who sought to break her or toss her aside. She saw each day, each moment, each labored breath as a Blessing because victims cannot BE for themselves or others who they need to be…a hard lesson to learn, yet she did.
Beautiful – Undeniably beautiful! Inside and out.
Smile – No one could see her smile without smiling, too. Check out her smile in any of the pictures from Josh and Chasiti’s wedding…her smile’s so bright you might need shades!
Authentic – She lived with a pure authenticity that few can harness.
Present – She lived in the moment and embraced each one…whatever it brought.
Honest – Yes, she could cut with a cruel honesty about how she felt about someone or something, but she chose to not let her honesty be a knife…but instead to be a path to something better.
Joyful – JOY – from deep within – and it permeated her very being.
Grateful – She counted every blessing every day and never took tomorrow for granted.
Funny – She laughed one day and said that she loved that I still called her Baby Girl even years after we were both grown and had baby girls of our own. And she laughed when I complained about my dentures not fitting right and how that stupid denture glue stuff squishes out the sides of my teeth and make my cheeks stick to my teeth. And, of course, she had to remind me that her dentures fit perfectly fine without any help, and that she could eat anything she wanted. What a brat! LOL
Hungry – Hungry to have more moments, more hugs, more days, and experience all she was physically capable of doing with her baby girls, Adissyn and Kynleigh.
Proud yet Humble – Her pride was immense – but not for herself or her accomplishments – it lived in her heart for others – her pride was in her sons, Josh and Zach, for being honorable young men and for their commitment to doing what’s right, not what’s easy. And her pride was in her granddaughters, Adissyn Rose and Kynleigh Rae for their sweetness and freely given kindness. And her pride was in her sister Kim…Kimmy, as I’ve always known her, gave Tammy a gift she may not even have realized…when Tammy had worked, and waited, and scrimped, and saved, and worked, and waited, and scrimped, and saved until she was finally able to buy her own home, it was Kimmy who was there to help and support her, and it was Kimmy who first told her that she was proud of Tammy.
Kimmy, I know I’ve already told you this, but it bears repeating…Tammy didn’t just love you as a sister; she had a very deep appreciation and admiration for the courage you have displayed by living your truth with such determination, authenticity, and joy. Not everyone gives themselves permission to live so freely with abandon. Hugs to you and Maria.
Rising – She was continually focused on rising to the situation because she knew that if she didn’t, she wouldn’t be the person she needed to be for anyone, even herself.
Hopeful – I remember when she was coming up on the 2nd anniversary of her Alpha-1 diagnosis. – At that time she didn’t know anyone who had survived past that 2-year mark – but she didn’t let that mark become a grave marker. Instead, it was a milestone…proof that God is still in control, and that her hope was not in vain – Sure, she had times when she was frustrated and even angry that she couldn’t do the things with her baby girls that she wanted to do, but she knew that they knew, without a doubt, that she loved them, and she remained hopeful, maybe not in every breath, but on the whole, she was far more hopeful than helpless. She never let Alpha-1 dictate her hope.
Faithful – She never let her circumstances dictate her faith.
Inspiring – She was living proof that especially in the worst of times, we can still be an inspiration to others.
Committed – It didn’t take a piece of paper from an earthly court to make Tamara Jean Daugherty…Tamara Jean Speer. She, and Tom, knew that the commitment they made to each other in the name of the Lord was all that was required for their union to be blessed and holy unto God.
Blessed – Tammy was blessed in a million ways…yes, all the usual…children she could be proud of, grandchildren who loved her endlessly…friends who knew and understood her challenges and supported her without fail. But, most of all, she was blessed with a pure heart. I can honestly say that Tammy was the kindest, most loving, and most lovable, most thoughtful, most honest, and supportive person she could be for others…even when she couldn’t give all that to herself.
I’d like to honor Tom’s commitment to Tammy. She recently posted on Facebook what a lifelong commitment means to her. Here are a few of her thoughts from that post…
“Lifelong commitment is not what everyone thinks it is. It’s not waking up early every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It’s not cuddling in bed together until both of you peacefully fall asleep. It’s not a clean home and a homemade meal every day.
It’s coming home to the same person every day that you know loves and cares about you in spite of, in spite of, and because of, and because of who you are.
Living with the person you love is not perfect, and sometimes it’s hard, but it’s amazing, comforting, and one of the best things you’ll ever experience!
It’s about…forgiveness!” For all of us. Forgiveness is the key to joy…to being happy…to having healthy relationships…to having a clear mind and a happy heart. Tammy knew all of that. And that is her message to each of us today. JOY Jesus Others You – ask Jesus to forgive you – forgive Others for anything that is standing in the way – forgive Yourself and ask those whom you have wronged to forgive You.
Thank you, Tom, for loving and caring for Tamara Jean Speer as only you could.
Four days ago, my best friend posted a meme on Facebook that said…”I need one of those long, heartfelt hugs that make you forget everything around you for a minute”.
And in that moment I needed that hug to be with my baby girl, right then, wherever her earthly body was, I ached for that hug. And as the reality of her passing hit me, I thought to myself…”God, this is what it feels like to be so utterly broken, so gutted, so lost, that breaths won’t come and my mouth won’t stop screaming!” I was reminded that it’s in moments like those that we learn that great pain only comes where great love has lived. There were just no words.
Two days later, while writing some of these very words, a tingling began at the crown of my head, and growing stronger with every second, it cascaded down through my fingers and to the very tips of my toes. It was one of the most intense sensations I have ever experienced. It grew until I felt engulfed in the loving arms of Jesus…and the tears of loss and sadness became the celebration of a joyful heart. And for as long as I had spent screaming on Tuesday, I spent laughing and crying tears of pure joy on Thursday…because I knew that my baby girl, Tammy Jean, had hugged me one more time.
Tammy was so much more than my cousin. We were sisters-in-heart; and my soul will never be the same, because of all the people who have passed from my life, she was the very, very, very best.
And so, to honor Tammy’s memory, I hope that at least one who reads this might be lead to join my quest to be more like her, and to…
Be gracious…for you never know whose life you may bless by living in His Grace.
Be beautiful…inside and out. Always be mindful that a beautiful spirit is something others see in us. Outward beauty, what we see in the mirror, is what we create it to be. And if, at 61, you want bubble gum pink hair, be brave enough to create your own idea of beautiful.
Smile…so big that it touches your heart and the hearts of others.
Be authentic…the real you from your soul.
Be present…live in each moment as if it might be your last.
Be honest…with yourself first…and always with others with a kind heart.
Be joyful…Open yourself up to the joy waiting to fill you. It’s there. We just have to let it in. So laugh, play, be spontaneous.
Be grateful…your blessings are yours…YOU need to be the one who celebrates them.
Be funny…if you can. If you can’t be funny, then laugh heartily at the things that children find silly. Give in to your inner child and practice laughing. It can transform mundane moments into joyful celebrations.
Stay hungry…for more…more of what God has for you…more of what your soul needs to be fed…more blessings…more love…more kindness…and more…
Be proud…yet humble.
Rise…to the occasion…willingly…joyfully…consistently.
Be hopeful…for God is still in control.
Have faith…for without it, all is lost.
Be inspiring to those lives you touch each day.
Be committed…to who and what matters most.
BE BLESSED…BE A BLESSING.
And one last thing…
Tom, I would love to have something of Tammy’s to remind me of her each day. I hear her dentures fit better than mine. (J/K…maybe…LOL)
Steven, April Miller says
I know how much Tamara struggled and more than likely suffered on a daily basis. I will say though, when they were Blessed with their darling grandchildren, it was if the Alpha 1 went into remission? The love&smiles never left her face❗Thank you God for giving her and her family, a time to be Blessed with Granbabys💐💜❗
Sandra ( Sandie) Connery says
So where do we go from here?
We move forward.
But not right away,
in all honesty not right away.
Especially when the loss is as sudden as yours was, Tammy.
We need time to process
who knows how long that’s going to take? It’s going to take as long as it’s going to take ..
there is no rushing the grieving proces, Contrary to popular belief . There’s no such thing as closure.
the heart knows what the heart knows and when the heart is hurting, we acknowledge it
. we get through it somehow..
Bittersweet at its best.
I love you so much my sister friend. I loved to listen to you talk the way you would express Yourself. it was so real, pure love of family and friends .
that’s what you are to me.
you are pure love.
You are human .
you made mistakes just like everyone else.
no one is perfect
You were the sweetest thing
.
I’m going to miss our talks.
Tom and all the children,
there are no words that I can repeat that you haven’t already heard.
Just know that you are in my thoughts and my prayers daily and hope that you find a way to get through these very difficult days without her
one thing I will say you can choose to weep that you’ve lost her or you can choose to smile and be thankful that she was a part of your life.
You have some beautiful beautiful memories with her
cherish them forever that is what it’s going to keep her close to you and immortal.
I’m here if you ever need a sounding board. Just remember that..